However, there have been issues. She was so proud of being a big girl that if she did have an accident, it was the end of the world. It happened one morning as we were heading out the door to work/daycare. She melted down like I have never seen before. I couldn't even get close to her to comfort her. I couldn't even talk. Any movement or sound of my voice just sent her deeper. I had to stand back and watch my daughter writher around on the floor, soaked to the you-know-what. It was awful. I went to work in tears that morning completely deflated. Finally, at the end of the day, a colleague took me aside and told me this was good.
What?! Good?! How???
Apparently kids who feel hurt and embarrassment from wetting their underpants are easier to train. If they don't feel bad about it, they don't care to wet their panties. That made sense and gave me the encouragement I needed to work through the next accident. In no time, this issue resolved itself.
Only to make way for a bigger and more complicated one: holding poo.
I can't begin to express the level of frustration I have felt over the past couple of weeks regarding this. For one, anytime I mentioned this to friends/colleagues, all told me: "It's normal.". Well... if it's so damn normal, why didn't anyone, anyone tell me to expect this???? Why wasn't it written in any of the dozen or so websites I visited about potty training??? Why is is such a darn secret??
If I thought Miss B wetting her pants was a challenging moment in parenthood, I had another thing coming. She can go days without having a bowel movement (compared to when she was a baby when she was so regular and could go three times a day). She will cross her legs, do a little dance, hold her bum, ask for the potty, go to the potty, give up on the potty, cry that she doesn't want to go and then hop off the toilet. This will happen every five minutes. Every time it starts up, my anxiety hits the roof. I have heard of friends having to take their kids to the hospital because of severe constipation. I know her poo is going to get hard and will be harder to pass. I know she's in pain. Yet, there's nothing I can do.
Time to get serious. If I can't control what comes out, I can control what goes in. After much research, Hubby discovered some very interesting information. We were told to up Miss B's fibre intake. But, a mom has to be cautious. Giving a child the wrong fibre solutions can make the withholding worse. There are two types of fibre: soluble and insoluble. Insoluble fibre can only be digested with large amounts of water. Kids don't necessarily take in enough water to make it effective. Stick to soluble fibre! Armed with that information, I was on a quest to make Miss B some yummy stuff. Here are two recipes that have made a huge difference.
Chocolate pudding
Adapted from Martha Stewart
This pudding is made with avocados and prunes, two excellent sources of soluble fibre. Miss B can't get enough of it!
3 avocados
6 tablespoons cocoa powder
1/4 cup raw honey
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
1-2 small jars of pureed prunes (from the baby food section)
coconut water as needed
- Puree all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Serve!
Prune Treats
Adapted from Elana's Pantry
1 cup of prunes, pits removed
1-2 cups of almonds or walnuts
1/2 cup of dark chocolate chips
1 tablespoon of vanilla extract
coconut water as needed.
- Place prunes, nuts and chocolate in food processor and pulse until the texture resembles coarse gravel. Add vanilla.
- Add coconut water if necessary.
- Form mixture into one inch balls.
- Serve.
Do you have any tips/tricks that will help with potty training? Please share in the comment section below...
I experienced the pooping issue with B. She took to pee-peeing in the potty right away, but it took her a little while to get the pooping down.
ReplyDeleteShe's always had a more solid stool, and I was afraid she'd develop problems, as you described. I started giving her Miralax (as I had to do when she was a baby), to at least make it easier on her to go.
I don't know if this is similar to your experience, but she would ask to sit on the potty, seem to try to poop, but she would give up (or something?) and then, 3 minutes later, poop in her panties.
I offered all sorts of incentives...I told her we'd go for ice cream (a huge treat) when she pooped on the potty. She seemed very excited about that prospect, but she seemed to be scared, or not confident that she could go on the potty.
After about a week, she was "trying" to go. This sounds so horrible as I type it, but I kind of forced her to sit on the potty. I hugged her really tightly, and kept reassuring her, telling her, "You can do it!" She was crying, saying, "I can't!" but I kept encouraging her. She finally saw it through, and she never had another accident.
For her, it just took that one time of seeing that she could do it, that it wouldn't hurt (?) / wasn't scary.
I hear things quite frequently, it seems, about kids struggling with poop. I never had that trouble with Baby A, and fortunately, it wasn't a longer-term problem with B.
Hang in there, Mama! Although I think our potty-training was relatively "easy", it was still incredibly stressful. You'll get through it...both of you! This is just a phase. Sounds like you're well on your way!
Our family struggled mightily with this problem...1 in 5 healthy children withhold yet, no one ever mentioned this issue in any of our parenting classes! Despite endless Google searches and countless calls to our pediatrician, none of the recommendations produced the desired results (finally introduced Miralax). A friend recommended a fabulous book..."I Can't, I Won't, No Way!" A Book for Children Who Refuse to Poop. (available on Amazon.com). Written entirely from a child's perspective with wonderful illustrations, we believe it is a MUST have for any household with a "poop refuser". Our daughter identified with the character immediately...we read the story over and over...and though we say for certain, we are convinced it made all the difference. Yes, we did arrive at a "happy ending"!
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